


Private Universe

by my_chemical_kermit, Toxicbirthdaycake



Category: Die Antwoord (Band), Fall Out Boy, Mindless Self Indulgence, Morningwood, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, The Used
Genre: Asshole!Gerard, Ballet, Bottom Frank Iero, Dancer, Dancer!Frank, Fluff and Angst, Multi, Romance, Sweetheart!frank, Top Gerard Way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-01-06 13:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12211935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_chemical_kermit/pseuds/my_chemical_kermit, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toxicbirthdaycake/pseuds/Toxicbirthdaycake
Summary: punkpʌŋk/Submitnouna loud, fast-moving, and aggressive form of rock music, popular in the late 1970s."punk had turned pop music and its attendant culture on its head"sweetheartˈswiːthɑːt/Submitnouna particularly lovable or pleasing person or thing."he is an absolute sweetheart"Frank has a secret no one knows





	1. Back to school

Kids. Kids were everywhere. All of them so small and, well, everywhere. They seemed so lost and honestly Frank felt bad for them; they were like him (perhaps taller) in his first year of high school.

 

On his first day, he remembered it pretty clearly, it was such a rush, no one seemed to care about the tiny kid in a baby blue shirt and black jeans who ran into nearly every person in his hurry to get to class. 

 

So he really felt for these kids who seemed so lost in the giant shit school.

 

Frank stood at his locker sorting his bag long after the bell had went when he heard a light thud and a small "oof" escape the lips of someone behind him

 

A small girl had fallen on her stomach, perhaps in a hurry to get to class and tumbled. Her oversized bag weighing her down most certainly wasn't helping.

 

Frank quickly zipped up his bag and rushed to the pocket-sized girl in order to pick her up.

 

She looked up as he heaved her up, she wasn't heavy at all but Frank wasn't strong in the slightest, he kept himself skinny and sleek so his arms were more feminine & petite.

 

She had a nervous look on her innocent features and had tears running down her cheeks as Frank picked her up. As he did, she looked him up and down.

 

Frank had forgotten he was wearing an oversized hoody (totally not with a leotard beneath) and ripped black jeans, he probably looked like a school shooter.

 

Frank quickly swept the fringe from his eyes and flashed her a warming smile, she returned it, probably a lot more relaxed, but still sniffling.

 

"Are you okay," he asked, withdrawing a small packet of tissues and using one to dry her eyes, quickly wiping her nose too, he wasn't fond of that sort of thing but this kid was having a bad day.

 

She shrugged, her sniffles stopped her from being able to speak properly, "it- I'll be fine," she stuttered out.

 

"What class have you got? I'll show you where it is," Frank suggested, giving her a little shake and gesturing at the timetable in her hands.

 

"Uhm," she looked down, "c-chemistry with Mr Montgomery," 

 

"Come on then, I'll show you where it is kid, you'll get used to it quick," Frank said, he knew she needed to get used to it quick or it'd break her down.

 

"Thanks, uh, guy?" she mumbled.

 

"No problem," he laughed, "and it's Frank, now chem is just round here see," he pointed to a door, "Sir won't care that you're late cause you're new. Good luck kid," 

 

"Thanks Frank," she shouted down the corridor as he walked away, Frank nodded back and she pushed the door open and walked in.

 

Frank smiled gently, that kid wasn't too bad, he wasn't in the worst of moods considering he'd probably get yelled at for being late. Again. 

 

He suddenly whipped around, thinking he'd seen a figure behind him but quickly brushed it off as a trick of the eye.

 

Frank wandered down the empty halls, occasionally spinning on the balls of his feet just for practise.

 

No one was watching, Frank liked that about being late. He didn't like having to walk slouched and hidden but he had to to avoid being taunted, doing that messed up his posture and he couldn't have that.

 

Frank tiptoed his way to class, contemplating skipping the home economics class but deciding otherwise as he quite liked the teacher. She was a softy and if he explained he was helping a kid she'd perhaps forgive him.

 

He knocked softly on the door, opening it slowly to reveal the kindly thirty odd year old woman sitting primly at her desk.

 

There weren't many others who had kept on the subject, five other girls sat, enough room for each member of the class to have a large counter/ desk each.

 

Frank walked up to the woman, "sorry I'm late ms, there was a new kid who got lost," he explained quietly.

 

The teacher nodded, "okay, that's fine, it's better than the kid freaking out on there first day, sit down please,"

 

Frank smiled warmly before sitting down in his seat.

 

The girl beside him leaned over and stuck out a hand, "I'm Chantal but my friends call me Chantie," she introduced, Frank shook her hand, "I'm Frank or Frankie or whatever," he responded.

 

"Cute!" She said, smiling warmly, before the teacher began some lecture about respect and how it was going to be a great year.

 

Frank hoped it was.

 

****

 

Gerard trudged to school with Mikey by his side, babbling about something or another. He wished he cared enough to listen but he somehow found more interest in his boot clad feet than his annoying little brother.

 

"So thats why he's perfect," mikey concluded what was probably a well written and deeply thought out speech he had written specificly to tell his brother and probably all their friends.

 

Gerard looked up when he noticed a penetrating stare burning holes into his head.  
"What?" He questioned, moving his eyes away from his feet for the first time.

 

Mikey sighed, growing impatient of his older brothers constant habbit of getting lost in his own head.

 

"Did you listen to anything I just said?" Mikey asked, giving his brother an unimpressed look.

 

"Something about the 'dreamy pete wentz'" Gerard mocked, knowing full well Mikey had some odd obsession with the annoying ball of eyeliner.

 

Mikeys face flushed proving that Gerard was in fact correct.  
"Whatever," he heard Mikey mutter under his breath before they were finally at the school gates. 

 

Gerard looked up at the building, longing to just insinerate under the sun like a vampire. But of course he couldn't because vampires, sadly, did not exist.

 

Mikey soon left his side and instead attached himself to the one and only raccoon known as pete wentz. Gerard just scoffed and joined Bert who was stood smoking under a no smoking sighn. 

 

"Good holiday?" Bert asked as Gerard got out his own ciggerette and began lighting it. 

 

"It was alright, you?" He replied, lips still clinging to the fag in his mouth.

 

Bert shrugged. "I heard Jimmy hooked up with some girl called chantal. That was honestly the highlight of my holiday," he replied laughing. Gerard sniggered and shook his head. 

 

They fell silent, smoking their respected cigerettes until they heard the tardy bell ring.  
"Okay I made a resolution to not be late this year round," Bert said triumphantly.

 

Gerard laughed "You're mums gonna punish ya you mean?"  
"Shes a scary lady Gerard," was the last thing Bert said before he walked off to lesson, hood up like he was gonna sell drugs to kids.

 

Gerard soon followed, stamping his ciggerette out on the floor and making his way into the building.

 

The hallways were pretty much clear except a few lost year 7s. 

 

He turned the corner and saw a year 7 on the floor and a teenager helping them up.

 

He felt like he recognised that mop of curly hair and perculiar dress sense.

 

Was that Frank? Why was he being all, gentle?

 

He could hear them talking and Frank wiped the girls eyes with a tissue. Not that it was wierd, it was just unlike Frank. Gerard had never seen him act like this to anyone. He was always this tough punk kid that screamed in a band. Gerard hated the warm feeling in his cheeks whilst he watched Frank. But he couldnt seem to stop it.

 

They suddenly began walking in his direction and Gerard for some reason felt the need to hide. He ran a bit down the corridor and hid round a corner where he'd be able to watch them pass.

 

It was about then that Gerard began to feel a bit like a wierdo spying on his friend like this. He was about to retreat when he saw Frank walking back making him scramble back to his hiding place. He saw Frank turn his head in his direction and held his breathe.

 

Gerard was in luck for it seemed Frank didnt see him as he continued walking. He sighed in relief before stepping out of his hiding place and just going to lesson.

 

He had art, which meant he probably wouldnt get a late mark since the teacher was kinda laid back.

 

He walked in, slinging his bag on the floor and collecting his folder from the drawers. As he predicted, the teacher glanced up from his drawing, marked him here and continued his painting.

 

"Hey," Ryan said as Gerard took his seat beside him. He seemed more interested in his drawing than anything else happening at that moment.

 

Gerard grunted in response, taking out the painting he'd been working on. The painting was of a skeleton posing in a bed of rose thorns that he'd been working on for a while now.

 

He delicatly applied the paint like painting on a rose petal, taking his mind off his strange small friend.


	2. Another confrontation, You've got something to prove.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you for the comments on the last chapter validation is 10/10!
> 
> The song in the title is 8th Grade by Pencey Prep
> 
> Enjoy the chapter guys
> 
> ~ Kermit

Frank padded along, his light steps tapped gently against the floor compared to the others who filled the corridor who took no care in there steps.

 

Frank passed the canteen, he instead opted to go outside like he always did, the canteen was much too loud for his liking and he could never eat the food they served in there, it was greasy and full of calories.

 

Frank always chose to bring his own food and ate outside when he could, it was often salads or pasta, something light, healthy and filling and only had hearty meals maybe two or three times a week.

 

Frank gently sat down, crossing his legs in the grass and pulling out the clear box containing a salad, call him a health freak he didn't care.

 

Frank was quick to eat, he watched people bustling in the canteen through the windows of the school, it was interesting to him, he doubted anyone even noticed him looking, not that he minded, he'd rather they didn't know.

 

He set the empty box aside once he was done and lay back, closing his eyes briefly before staring up to the sky with it's powder white clouds.

 

He watched as he tried to figure out what the clouds could be, mentally colouring in the white fluff floating above him, there was one in particular looked like a clown which make him laugh lightly.

 

He eventually spread his arms, letting them lie across the grass and he felt something delicate touch his hand.

 

A small daisy had grew, just by his hand, Frank picked it, bringing it closer to his face to inspect the small flower, he smiled, quickly reaching for another.

 

Frank pierced a hole in the first with his nail and began the process of making a daisy chain, he couldn't remember the rhyme they had taught him but he could remember how to actually do it.

 

He thread the other daisies through and eventually formed a full circle, he giggled, holding it up to the sky, it looked so cute and he set it on top of his head.

 

Frank lay back again, feeling quite content really, a small lady bug was flying around which amused him a lot, the small creature eventually landing on his hand.

 

He laughed, "hey little dude," he whispered to the small red insect before spotting a figure approaching, "shit," he mumbled, setting the creature on the grass before the figure saw what he was doing.

 

Finally the figure stood in front of him, "hello," he said, only vaguely recognising the tall boy before him.

 

"Hello," he said back, his dark eyes staring at Frank, "you've been up here a while, by yourself, what have you been doing?" He asked.

 

Frank wasn't sure how to respond, how was he supposed to explain he'd been talking to a ladybug, cloud gazing and making flower crowns.

 

Wait. Fuck. Frank reached up touching the daisies on top of his head, of course, the small flowers were still enlaced in his ebony hair.

 

He quickly yanked the delicate chain hiding it behind him.

 

Gerard had already seen the flower crown, Frank knew, he could see the slight drop on Gerard's face as Frank went red & the daisies fell in a pile.

 

"Nothing," Frank whispered quietly.

 

Gerard looked at him, "doesn't seem like nothing," he said, sounding rather agitated.

***

Art came and went, it flew by quickly like everything good always did. Gerard sighed, packing his things away into his bag and waiting for Ryan to join him.  
"You happen to know anythin about that punk Iero?" Gerard asked casually once his friend had finished packing up.

 

"Isn't he friends with your brother?" He replied. 

 

"Yeah, I dunno theres something off about him," Gerard said, close to muttering the words realising he honestly didn't have much evidence to back this point up. 

 

What, some punk helps out someone younger and he turns into some secret spy. He huffed at his own stupidity. 

 

"He seems fine to me. Pretty cool in my opinion, his bands alright, I heard em one time." Gerard nodded at Ryans answer. He already knew all of that. He just wanted to know more. 

 

"Why do you ask anyway?" Ryan wondered outloud. Panicked, Gerard just turned his head shrugging his shoulders. "Just curious," he replied. Ryan furrowed his eyebrows but nodded anyway, leaving Gerard to walk the rest of the way to English on his own. He caught sight of Frank going to his lesson but ignored him for now. 

 

He saw Jimmy outside the class and decided to stand around with him, maybe interrogate him about the Chantal girl.

 

"Hey,"  
Jimmy lifted his head from his phone at the sound of Gerards voice, nodding in return and slipping his phone into his pocket. 

 

"So hows Chantal?" Gerard asked with a shit eating grin slapped on his face. Jimmy rolled his eyes, "Bert already told you?" he sighed. 

 

"Yep," He sniggered. Jimmy sighed again. "Of course he did," Jimmy laughed, "sad bastard always stickin' his nose in my business," 

 

"That is true yes," Gerard agreed, spotting Bert in the crowd, crashing past people carelessly.  
"Hey," he said, he smelt of smoke like usual. Jimmy punched him in the gut, "what the fuck," Bert whined, crouching in on himself.

 

"Stop tellin people about my shit," Jimmy sighed, patting his friends back.  
Gerard laughed at the scene in amusement before the bell rang out. The damn thing of course being right behind him and in the process deafening him with its obnoxious screeching. 

 

"Jesus fucking christ," Bert yelled when it stopped ringing. They all held their ears in pain and walked into their lesson.

 

It turned out to be one of the few good english lessons where the teacher doesnt give a shit so just puts a film in telling students to make notes but no one really makes notes. 

 

All through the film Bert would rip off peices of paper and throw them at Jimmy who sat in front of him and Gerard. Gerard just sat stifling his laugh behind his hand as Jimmy visibly began to loose his patience. 

 

Bert knew he was fucked when Jimmy rose from his seat and turned to face Bert. The long haired punk squeeked, leaping out of his seat and running out of the class with Jimmy in tow. 

 

The teacher looked up with a bored expression, "where did Robert and James go?" He asked tiredly. 

 

"Im not sure sir I'll go check," Gerard said innocently, leaving his seat knowing he wouldn't go back. 

 

He walked down the corridor where he saw Jimmy sitting on Bert's back, refusing to move while Bert struggled to get him off. 

 

Gerard laughed, going to sit in front of the lockers next to the the strange scene by him. 

 

"I thought you were trying to be good?" Gerard asked, directing his question at Bert's ever reddening face.

 

"Yeah well, this little twat makes that difficult," he said struggling again but alas his effort was futile, Jimmy would not budge. 

 

Jimmy laughed evilly before he moved off his friend so he could actually breathe.  
"Finally you fat bastard," Bert gasped, rolling onto his back.

 

They were interupted by footsteps angrily making their way down the empty corridor. 

 

"What do you think your doing here?" She asked. The three looked up at her, she was tall and skinny and had the face of what you'd usually associate with a strict librarian; snooty expression, pointed glasses with a chain dangling from them. Her hair was thin and blonde, past her shoulders and her eyes were grey and cold. She looked down her nose at the three boys. 

 

Simultaneously, they all stood up, matching her arrogant glare. 

 

"Breaks in five minutes, you'll be spending that and an hour after school in detention with me now," she said, in a stern voice before turning on her heal and marching off. 

 

They sighed in unison. "Bitch," Gerard muttered, kicking one of the lockers. First day back at school and he already had a detention. He stormed off after her with Jimmy and Bert trailing after.

 

Break detention was...boring, every time any of them tried to talk that bitch's head would shoot up with that glare, Gerard wanted to punch off her stupid face. 

 

Eventually break passed & the next period which began, which ended up equally annoying Gerard further.

 

He sat next to some dick head who kept gloating about how he fingered some chick at a party-as if anyone would even believe that someone actually let that ugly bastard touch them- Gerard thought. 

 

He kept this to himself however, aware that this chav would beat him to a pulp.

 

Lunch arrived where Gerard met up with Jimmy, Bert, Ryan and Brendon. Pete and Mikey were probably somewhere else clinging to each other in a vial manner which made Gerard make the decision to not go look for either of the two.

 

Instead, he sat at his lunch table in a dreadful mood. His skin felt too tight and everyone seemed too loud like a little itch inside his skull he couldn't get rid of. 

 

In attempt to calm himself he directed his eyes to the window. He saw a boy looking in, messy brown hair and black clothes. Gerard knew who it was and something urged Gerard to go outside. 

 

Offering no explanation, Gerard left the table and headed for the tree he saw Frank sitting at. He didn't entirely know why he was currently heading towards the boy he was convincing himself to hate but he guessed it was too late now as he found himself in front of him. 

 

"Hello," Frank said, looking up at Gerard with a flower crown delicately placed in his soft hair. Gerard noticed, he noticed the delicacy, the contrast, the way it portrayed such innocence like a reflection of his eyes. It made him feel sick. 

 

"Hello," Gerard said back gravely.  
"You've been up here a while, by yourself, what have you been doing?" Gerard asked. He wanted to just walk away but he for some reason stayed. 

 

Frank looked concerned and then realisisation seemed to hit him as he yanked the daisy chain off his head. The roughness made Gerard cringe slightlty. Something so delicate must be treated with delicacy.

 

"Nothing," he heard the boy whisper.  
"Doesn't seem like nothing," Gerard replied, growing more impatient. The grating feeling at the back of his skull returned and he felt the urge to be as cruel as possible.

 

When Frank didn't respond Gerard continued talking. "You a faggot then?" Gerard asked, smiling at how genius he thought his words were, "that's why you don't talk to no one," He saw the boy take a sharp intake of breath. 

 

"Stop being such a pussy and answer me," he urged, nudging the boy with his foot and watching him recoil in trembles. The whole scene was rather like a small child torturing a poor insect out of curiosity. 

 

He saw Franks eyes water and felt slight guilt flip his stomach over. "Fucking freak," Gerard said coldly, kicking Frank not too hard in the leg and stalking off to be irritated somewhere else. 

 

He didn't know why but Frank wore him out.


	3. How pure, how sweet the love beneath it yeah You would pray for him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song in title is Someone New ~ Hozier

Frank could put a name to him now, it was Mikey's brother, Mikey always talked so fondly of "Gee" but Frank couldn't see it.

Frank had tears running down his cheeks, he knew his leg was going to bruise and it was all his own fault.

He should've just found an abandoned classroom and stayed there but no, he had to enjoy nature and go outside, expose himself.

He looked around for his small red friend for comfort but found Gerard had trodden on the poor insect, he started to sob now.

The bell rang out, seeming to have no mercy from Frank's sorrowful display, it was faint from where Frank was sitting, but still there.

He really didn't want to force himself to rise from the grass but it seemed that would have to happen.

He wandered pointlessly back to the doors to the canteen, no one was there anymore, perfect.

Frank was supposed to be studying after school with Mikey, he hoped Gerard wouldn't be there, he usually never was and when he was he stayed cooped up in his room.

He had decent subjects, chemistry and music, before the last bell would ring and he could escape to the safe haven of the Way-household, that is, if Gerard wasn't there.

Frank knew better than to walk with Mikey to his house, he always walked Pete home and the way the two fawned over each over made Frank nauseous, perhaps slightly sick with jealousy too.

Frank hid himself in the bathroom as he changed, into something more flexible, no one would see him now anyway, they were all at home, wallowing in angst and homework. He put his comfy black leggings on and a loose fitted jumper that slinked over his shoulder and hid his leotard quite well. He felt so much better like this, of course he liked his punk style but this felt so much freer, he could move and stretch and be himself.

Frank left the stall, making sure no one was there and left the school. The streets -empty- leaving him free like a bird and no longer held down by manacles forged by small minded teenagers- he just didn't spot the two boys behind him, paying slight attention to him.

Frank took intricate steps, at one point walking on his tiptoes, managing for quite a while before he dropped down again and continued his delicate walk.

He eventually came across the old dog he met every day, the small mutt, possibly some pit bull, came toddling up to him.

"Hello big boy," Frank smiled, kneeling beside him, patting it's head, "how are you," he laughed, the dog happily cuddled against Frank, who laughed.

"Here ya go," Frank said, handing the dog the bread he always carried for it.

The dog snarfed it down and Frank squeezed him one more time before going on, the dog always made him guilty, it watched him before plodding off to wherever it lived.

Frank wandered on before arriving at the doorstep to Mikey's house, he knocked lightly and Mikey opened the door, smiling at him.

"Hey," Mikey greeted, obviously the side-effects of Pete hadn't worn of quite yet, "come on in," he continued, waving Frank in.

Frank entered, they made there way to the living room, throwing there bags down to "study" there.

"You got dancing again?" Mikey asked, Frank nodded, "every other night and I do my own practise," Frank said casually.

"You're so commited, I don't know how you do it plus gcse's, plus no one should be able to get their leg that high," Mikey said casually.

Frank laughed, "I got it higher than the girls, but I know half of 'em don't practise," 

Mikey laughed, pulling out some random textbook, "chemistry is bullshit," he snorted.

Frank giggled, "It's like the easiest one, now come on," he pulled out his own, explaining the complicated world of chemistry to him.

About an hour passed before another person entered, although they didn't knock.

Gerard came barging in, the door slamming open, "Mikes I'm home," he shouted.

"'Kay," Mikey yelled back, "You're supposed to be at your friends though?" 

Gerard entered the living room, "yea Bert's parents got mad cause he was tryna hide a porn magazine so I skidadled," he said casually, biting into some fruit.

He caught sight of Frank, "you know the fag?" He asked 

Mikey looked slightly pissed now, glaring at his brother with such venom even Frank was concerned "Gerard since when do you care about queers, you live with me for fuck sake," he stated defensively.

Frank checked the time on his phone, "Mikey I got practise I'll text you later," he said quietly, gathering his things.

Mikey sighed, "okay Frank, sorry Gerard's being a dick today, someone must've pissed in his milk this morning," he glowered.

"Its alright," Frank said even though it really wasnt okay, "bye Mikes," he said waving, before he left he heard a, "what's your problem, Gee?"

Frank wandered down the street, looking for Yolandi, who promised she'd meet him. She took the hiphop class which started earlier but gave Frank spare time to sit around outside.

He found the white haired girl standing by a shop, her hair pinned back and spiked (she'd always wanted the sides shaved but her school would kick her out) she stood out quite a bit.

"Hiya Frank," she chirped, her high pitched voice reaching Frank's ears.

"Hi Yolandi, sorry I'm late, me 'nd Mikes were revising," he replied, beginning to walk alongside with the girl.

"Oof Pete wasn't there was he?" She asked

Frank shook his head, "thankfully not, last time there was so much mush,"

Yolandi laughed and they continued walking across town to the large dance studio.  
"How was school?" She asked to fill the comfortable silence.  
"Alright, this guy was giving me some stick but other than that is was fine," he shrugged.

"Who was it? Y'know I'll fuck em up," she said in an adorably aggressive manner though Frank saw no lie behind her words. 

He laughed, "no its fine. You don't need to 'fuck him up'. Plus its Mikeys brother, there's not much I can do," he sighed.

"I didn't even know he had a brother, well if you ever want me to ya know," she cracked her knuckles, "I'm always here to help."   
Frank thanked her, it felt good to have someone have your back. He knew Yolandi always had his back no matter what. 

"I gotta go in now, I'll see ya Frankie," she said, skipping on in.

Frank waved her off and looked around, the park beside him was virtually empty and he had another 30 minutes to wait, so he found himself walking over and perching himself on a swing and started to sway it back and forth.

He started to hum, a soft melody, nothing compared to what he screamed at concerts, which he rarely attended unless he knew he would be safe with his more hardcore friends, who knew nothing of his secret ballet, his own private universe.

Frank liked the feeling of wind flowing through his hair as he gained momentum and swung higher and higher. Time seemed to pass faster on the kids play set as 6.15 crept closer and he could finally feel free among the wooden floor and floor to ceiling mirrors.

*****

Of course Gerard had slight regret. The way the boy seemed so scared and so small, that would make anyone feel like shit. But whats done is done now.

He stalked to the back of school where he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one. He inhaled the toxic smoke into his lungs, closing his eyes and slowly letting it relax him.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Gerard opened his eyes to see a short girl giving him a death glare. 

"What?" Gerard asked, taking the cigerette out of his mouth and exhaling smoke not caring that it blew in her face. She scrunched her face up and replaced her expression with an even angrier look.

"Whatever you said to Frank was shitty and uncalled for," she said through gritted teeth.   
Gerard laughed, "right okay," he put the cigarette back in his mouth, not really caring if his words offended some chick he's never even met. 

"You really are an ignorant prick," she said, just before the bell rang out. She huffed, giving him one last glare before storming off. 

Gerard shook his head, finishing off his cigarette and maybe starting a second one before finally going to lesson, 10 minutes late. 

The last two lessons flew by like a blink of an eye, mostly because he wasnt exactly listening, more just doodling in his book. He met up with Bert after school and made the decision to not go to detention. 

Instead, they walked back to Bert's house. Half way there, Gerard spotted Frank and without much thought pushed both him and Bert behind a fence where Frank wouldn't see them. "Gerard what the fu-" 

"Shut up!" Gerard hushed him, staring intently at the boy who walked ever so delicately on the tips of his toes. 

"Is that that Frank kid?" Bert asked in a hushed tone, now also looking at the boy.  
"Yeah," Gerard said through his teeth.

"And, why are we hiding from him exactly?" Bert asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Gerard sighed deeply, bringing his hand to his face, "because he's acting weird," he said.

"What, so we stalk him? That's kinda weird Gee," Bert laughed, using his own words against him.

"Fuck off," Gerard muttered angrily not taking his eyes of the boy who was now crouched next to a familiar dog. 

"Is that your dog?" Gerard asked. Bert looked over Gerards shoulder to see what he was talking about, "aye it is!" Bert nodded. 

Bert laughed "cute," he said as he watched Frank hug the dog. Gerard pulled a disgusted face moving his eyes from the boy and instead facing the other direction. "What is your problem?" Bert asked, a smile slapped on his face like he was king of the world.

"That," Gerard started pointing a finger in Frank's direction, "is not cute," he said.

"Oh lighten up Gee, what's the kid ever done to you?" He said sitting next to Gerard. Gerard stayed silent seeing no answer to the simple question. 

"Exactly, so stop being such a grump," Bert concluded, standing up and dusting off his trousers. He helped Gerard up and they both proceeded to walk to Bert's house as Gerard took note the boy was no longer there. 

He pondered over what Bert actually asked him, realising he had no real reason to hate him; even if he was gay Gerard really had no problem with it, but for some reason the boy just got under his skin. He couldn't stop thinking about him and how he acted so differently at times and how he built up this punk demeanour despite it not being him at all.

They finally got to Berts house which iniatially shut off all the unwanted thoughts. He followed Bert to his room and slounched on his bed. He was in a foul mood because of that midget and probably would be for the rest of the week.

"So whats the real reason you keep acting wierd around that Frank kid," Bert asked, throwing his shoes off and placing one leg over the other as if ready for a long conversation.   
"What do you mean 'the real reason'? I said it was cause he's acting wierd."

"Right and that effects you how?" Bert asked with a knowing tone in his voice that angered Gerard straight to his core.

"Just forget about it alright. Its nothing and its non of you buisness anyway," Gerard replied, pulling out his phone in order to distract himself long enough for Bert to give up trying.   
"Okay whatever," Bert shrugged it off, not caring to see his friend any angrier than he already was.

They sat around for around 40 minutes before Bert recognised how his friend had cooled down.

"Yknow Gerard," Bert started. His friend looked up as he began to talk.  
"A man can touch another penis, even kiss one, very lightly, and it still doesn't necessarily mean he's a homosexual," Bert said with the most serious voice

Gerard stared at him blankly before answering "What the fUCK?"

"I'm just saying," Bert defended himself, holding his hands up.  
"Just saying what? You think I'm gay!?" Gerard sounded shocked, disgusted even at this accusation.

"Gerard calm down and think about it, you've never had a girlfriend, and your suddenly acting weird about this Iero boy," 

Gerard leapt to his feet, "I do not have a fucking crush on Frank. I am not fucking gay and you are not my fucking friend." He yelled.

Bert followed him in standing, "and why do you hate him," he asked with a hand on his hip.

"Because he just- his fucking face y'know it shouldn't look like that. And those damn pretty eyes they're so fucking annoying like he's so innocent but he's not innocent, he's in a screamo band and what? Your telling me a screamer has a face as soft as that and goes round making flower chains-no!" Gerard ranted, pacing and red in the face with anger and frustration.

Bert stared wide eyed.   
"Okay," he said thinking. "Hey Gerard," he said, motioning for him to sit down once he looked up at him.

Bert rummaged round a draw until he pulled out a magazine, "what do you think about this?" He asked showing Gerard the cover; a woman in a bikini that showed too much of her skin. Gerard cringed before forcing an obvious fake smile onto his face. "Hot," he said in a weak voice. 

"Thats bullshit Gerard," Bert sighed.  
"Look I don't need this," Gerard said, slapping the magazine out of Bert's hand. He stood up and stormed out of the room, telling Bert to 'stay the fuck away'. 

Bert knew better than to go against his friends wishes, if that's what he wanted then fine. He'd let him cool off before he did anything at least.

Gerard stormed off from Berts house back to his own, slammimg the door open with no warning.  
"Mike's I'm home," he yelled, grabbing an apple and throwing it a few times in the air, watching it glimmer and spin in the light.

"Kay, you're supposed to be at your friends tho," he heard Mikey yell back. Gerard took a second thinking of a good excuse to use.  
"yea Bert's parents got mad cause he was tryna hide a porn magazine so I skidadled," he said, biting into his fruit as he leaned against the door frame. His eyes then landed on Frank, sat on the floor looking up with such vulnerable eyes Gerard almost melted.

"You know the fag?" He asked using all his energy to move his eyes from the slither of exposed skin on his shoulder.

"Gerard since when do you care about queers, you live with me for fucks sake," his brother defended. 

Gerard rolled his eyes. He continued to eat his apple, blanking out conversation taking place around him until he noticed Frank had actually started leaving Mikey was giving him a deathly glare. 

"What's your problem Gee?" Mikey asked poisonously.  
He heard the door shut. 

"I don'T know maybe that you have shit friend taste," Gerard said obnoxiously, a bitter glaze over his eyes as he looked away in his angsty exterior.

"And what the fuck is wrong with Frank!?" Mikey asked, voice quiet but words loud.

"He's a fucking freak," Gerard spat dropping his apple to the floor with no care.

"Get the fuck out," Mikey dead panned, crossing his arms in a manner that showed his lack of tolerance for his brother.

"Fine," Gerard laughed dryly, leaving the house he had only just entered and slamming the door for a second time.

He kicked a stone in anger and wandered aimlessly down the road until he saw something undeniably familiar. Fucking Frank-again. Walking with someone he did not recognise. Perhaps this would explain why he acts so strange?

He decided to follow discreetly.

It wasn't a long walk and Gerard didn't hear their conversation clearly enough to understand what they were talking about but soon enough they were at... a dance studio?

He saw the white haired girl go in whilst Frank waited outside. So she was his girlfriend or something, his stomach tied uncomfortably, a feeling he couldnt quite understand but it didnt make him feel good. It made him want to rip her head off. He gritted his teeth through the feeling and instead sat watching Frank. 

He looked so at peace, swinging back and forth humming a soft melody to himself like there was no ugly in the world. Like everything was okay. Gerard wished he could feel this. He watched him for a while before he thought it best to just go home, that was when he saw Frank check his phone and enter the building. No way was that girls lesson over, it hadn't been long had it? 

Out of curiosity, Gerard decided to go to a side window, making sure he couldn't be seen but also that he himself could see. 

The room was big and pastel pink, the floors were wooden and walls lined with mirrors and a long bar. Girls in pink tutus and leotards stretched their legs in unfathamable ways in such delicate ways like they were made of glass. 

Gerards eyes widened with shock as he saw the familiar boy walking in, leotard wrapped around his small figure and stretching his leg further than Gerard thought possible. He thought the girls were elegant, but seeing Frank was something else.

He was so... beautiful.


	4. Engaged by Angel Hair and Tight Skin

Frank lifted his leg, stretches had to be done so he didn't cramp or any other stuff that would hinder him in his routine.

He started with basic ones, simply rotating his upper half while standing, stretching his arms, the basics.

Then he went into the butterfly stretch, he had the soles of his feet pressed together and up to his crotch and he then started pushing his legs down so they lay flat, he saw some girl look at him in envy as her's would go no further.

He went to the wooden bars and used them to prop himself on as his leg raised higher so his legs were basically a straight line.

"Abigail come on, straighten your leg, look at Frank, his is perfect," Ms Lee said, pushing Abigail's leg up.

Frank couldn't help but smile at the praise. He heard Abigail wince as she straightened her leg out.

Frank finished his stretches and wandered over to get himself a drink.

"Hey Frank- Frankie," he heard a high voice squeal, he looked down, a younger girl in a tutu looked at him.

"Can you do the back thing, Ellie wants to see," she said, grasping at her friends arm, who looked at Frank in awe.

"If you want," Frank said, leaning back, only he didn't stop where you usually would, he continued to lean back until his head was touching his backside.

The new girl screamed as she watched while her friend laughed.

"Told you Frankie was cool," the girl laughed as her friend, Ellie, freaked out.

"Frank stop scaring the students," Ms Lee laughed as Frank pulled himself back up.

"It's the traditional way to greet people here Ms," Frank responded as he swung his arms.

"Yes, yes Frank now go, practise, I have students to attend to," she said, waving him off and pushing a girl's back.

Frank smiled and spun, rising and falling on his toes, he'd done about five before stopping completely.

Ms Lee rolled her eyes, "I mean work on your competition routine before I kick you out," she laughed.

"You'd never kick out your favourite student," Frank giggled as he walked to his end of the room, the younger students were being brought out into another room as the hip hop students left, Yolandi would be going home now.

Now the room was halved, Frank and a few other advanced students would work separately, allowed to practise as they wished before a teacher would come over and teach them properly, not a traditional way.

Frank began a balançoire, it got him in the mood, just swinging, he had to come up with a routine for the end of year performance.

If Frank was honest he loved Ms Lee's dance school but he wished to be somewhere more prestigious, somewhere famous dancers would lecture and educate.

But of course no one would accept Frank, or at least that's what he thought anyway, self doubt riddled Frank constantly, always overthinking and such.

He was often unaware of how truly graceful he looked while dancing, unaware that people would often notice his delicate features and the soft fringe that would cover his doe eyes.

The night moved rather quickly, Frank eventually got his turn at his own competition routine, not noticing many other students look at him in awe.

He had quite a few competitions coming up, he'd have to get out of school for many and his mother would pester him in the car about it, but it was worth it, he had the chance to be noticed by scholars, chances to win money, he owned trophies and medals galore.

But best of all he had even been offered a place in a show being put on in a prestigious art theatre, which would take place in Summer, he was honestly very excited for it, although he questioned why, he knew he worked hard but weren't there better dancers? Perhaps if he had seen himself dance he could see the elegance and thought in every step.

He didn't even realise his lesson was unfortunately over until Ms Lee informed him so.

"Frank come on, I'm supposed to be closing up," she spoke from across the room.

Frank snapped to attention, coming out of his trance, "sorry Ms, I'll go change now,"

"You're a talented boy, Frankie, you always work so hard, how your grades must suffer," she laughed, wondering how the boy had enough time to perfect his moves.

"They're pretty decent actually," Frank said, sitting on a bench and taking his shoes of his worn feet, "I just don't sleep much," he laughed.

Ms Lee chuckled too, "I'd believe that,"

Frank went on into a changing room and threw on his clothes from earlier, he could feel the build up of sweat but that was proof of work, he would shower when he got home.

He couldn't wait to feel the warm water against his skin and use that massage bar he got from Lush a while ago, he needed to feel like he hadn't just been trampled.

***

Frank sat in the canteen and regretted the decision immensely, he could hear everything, every word spoken and squeak of cutlery as his senses tuned in and it made him want to bang his head against the table he sat at.

He pushed around a baby tomato, unsure if he wanted to eat when surrounded by the crude noises of slurps and chomping, he couldn't stand the noises of others eating.

He saw a familiar figure approach, "hey Frankie," said an also familiar voice.

Frank looked up, "hey Chantel," he said as they looked eye to eye.

"How are you babs, haven't seen you in what, twenty four hours?" She giggled, grabbing a sandwich from a plastic container, she fortunately took more care in eating than others, choosing to close her mouth when chewing and not managing to be exceedingly loud.

Frank appreciated it.

He laughed, "not much, was at a friends and a practise, that's about it though.

Chantel looked concerned for a moment before replacing it with a smile, "practise for what?" She asked, obviously curious.

Before Frank could avoid the question (unsure if he could trust her yet) a tall, lanky boy, who had his hair spiked plopped down beside Chantel, giving her a rather grotesque kiss on the cheek.

Chantel wrinkled her nose before laughing, "hello to you too," she said, wiping spit off her face.

Frank was a little grossed out.

"Hey Chantie baby," the taller laughed.

"Frankie, this is Jimmy," she said, pointing to the boy beside her, "we're dating but if he keeps being gross then not for much longer," she said smiling.

Frank watched as another boy slammed his tray down beside Jimmy, "I'm Bert," he said loudly, "I'm here because a certain someone is mad and Jimmy is, unfortunately, my only other mate,"

"What's he even mad over, nothin', must be on his man period," Jimmy grunted as he started on the potato cubes from the canteen.

Bert agreed with Jimmy's statement and started to eat too, which wasn't to Frank's liking as the noises were slowly making him feel nauseous, it on top of the others in the canteen made Frank ball in on himself, loosing his appetite.

Chantel shot him a concerned look but said nothing as she continued her own food, deciding now was not the best time for it.

Frank closed up his lunch box and put it in his bag, not able to concentrate, his mind blurring.

"Frank," a voice said, the boy, Jimmy was looking at him, "you zoned out man, it was trippy," he laughed

Bert nodded in agreement, "I'll have what you're having," he snorted, Frank couldn't watch the open mouthed display.

"I'm fine, just tired," he said, despite the fact he wasn't, he slept at about 11pm, which was pretty early for him.

Jimmy nodded, "I know the feeling, Chantel's been keeping my mind occupied at night if you know what I mean," he said, nudging the blushing girl beside him.

Frank didn't like the thought of what Jimmy wanted to do to Chantel but couldn't help but giggle as Chantel elbowed Jimmy in the ribs.

"If you don't shut up I'll kick you in the nuts," she threatened, Bert laughed as Jimmy wheezed and waved a napkin as a symbol of surrender.

Frank laughed too, unable to contain it as Chantel stared with murder in her eyes.

*******

It seemed Gerard just couldn't tear his eyes from the boy. He wanted to go home really, he just wanted to leave and forget he ever saw this but he couldn't now. 

He watched as Frank spun like a fairy, elegant and like each move he made was intricatly planned.  
He leapt and lifted and was lifted. It was like a curse that stuck Gerards eyes to his movements. His utter flawless form and painfull perfection.

Gerard stared as his body bending in insane positions, at one point his back seemed to turn to clay and be bent all the way back, folding himself in half.

It was all so gracefull and Gerard couldnt stand it. It hurt his head and made him ill, he felt tired and before he knew it he was running away not caring he looked like he was running from a serial killer. He ran all the way home, crashing through the front door and stomping up the stairs. He kicked his shoes across the room and turned his CD player on, blasting the misfits whilst he shoved his head into a pillow.

That was how he stayed for a good half hour, thinking so much it felt like his head was about to erupt. He hoped it would so he could finally dispose of all the unwanted thoughts swimming about. 

He hated Frank.

He hated himself.

God he hated everything in that moment.

Mikey knocked on his door just as he made the decision to actually remove his head from a pillow and instead sit on the floor, back against his bed.

"Whats wrong?" Mikey asked from the door frame.

"Nothing Mikey," Gerard spat, angrevated for a reason un known to him. He just hated Frank with every fibre of his being.

"Don't ever invite that freak over here again, understand?" He growled.

"If your talking about Frank then no, I do not understand Gerard Frank is the sweetest kid on the planet, why do you hate him so much?" Mikey asked watching his brothers face go red with anger.

"Because hes a fucking scrawny peice of shit that I dont want in my fucking house," he yelled towards the end making Mikey just give up and slam the door to his brothers room and leave. 

He knew how stubborn Gerard was and couldnt handle dealing with that.

Gerard sighed, dropping his head and letting sleep drape over him whilst he still sat slumped against his bed.

***

He woke up the next morning with an ache in his neck and greasy knotted hair covering his eyes. He grunted, ragging a brush through the bird nest on his head and cracking his neck a few times. The numbers on his clock told him he was running late for school but he couldn't find it in his heart to care. 

He slowly pulled on some ripped jeans, a plain tshirt and a leather jacket then went to brush his teeth. 

When he finally arrived at school everyone was already on their way to second period so he decided to blend in with he crowd and go along with them. In english he opted to sit at the back away from Bert and Jimmy and instead next to some guy he'd only seen around a few times. He was a bit of a dickhead but Gerard had no personal reason to hate him.

The guy was big, like he could beat the shit out of you. He didn't look anything like a 17 year old, he looked more like he would already be working late shift in a seedy bar to feed his wife who he got pregnant at 16 and the child they concieved that cried non stop, all the while using alcohol to get him through the day. A little specific but thats just Gerards first impression on the guy. 

"Hey," Gerard announced flinging into the seat next to him. Zach gave him a side glance. He looked tired, probably that kid he may or may not have.

"Hey," he replied in a deep voice, alot deeper than Gerards. 

"What you doin sitting here instead of with your tranny friend?" He asked, obviously refering to Bert and his long hair. Gerard let it go, he wasnt here to fight over a guy he no longer likes.

"We fell out," he grumbled, feeling like a teenage girl as soon as the words left his mouth.   
The guy laughed. "Whatd he do? Sleep with your boyfriend?" He laughed at his own offensive joke-Gerard did not.  
"Im not a faggot," he hissed with a fire burning his words.

"Good," the guy said. "My names Zach," he stuck a big hairy hand out to shake Gerards slender and pale one.   
"Gerard," he smiled with malice. This is who he was going to become, the dickhead that hangs out with other dickheads making fun of people for being dickheads. He was okay with that, it was better than hanging around people who accuse him of being gay.

**  
The lesson passed, at one point Zach started throwing bits of paper at Berts head with notes on them varying from "freak" to "tranny". He didnt look offended by Zach, he just looked offended at Gerard as if the guy was killing a dog in front of him.

Gerard felt a pang of guilt, but he ignored it because emotions are a bitch. It would be alot easier to just turn them off, so he did.

Now Zach and Gerard walked down the corridors past all the little shits and to the back of school. Gerard immediatly took out a cigerette, lighting it and feeling relief. "I really fucking hate this place," he said, puffing out the smoke and watching it swirl above him. It reminded him of Frank, how he moved so delicatly on the wooden floor. How his legs could get so high above his head and how damn flexible he was. 

Gerard groaned. He hated Frank. 

***  
Gerard hadn't Zack the rest of the day, he'd probably skipped or something but that didn't matter because now he could finally go home, except he didn't go home. He instead found himself hanging around the same dance studio Frank had entered the previous day. He sat out of view messing with his phone until his eyes caught sight of the familiar boy. 

Gerard checked and double checked he wouldn't be seen before slowly making his way over to the window and watching as Frank finally entered in his black skin tight leotard that made Gerards mouth go dry and head go hazy.

God he hated Frank.


	5. You had your chance (You had your chance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spin - Taking Back Sunday

"Frank, get up, come on," said a female voice, violently shaking Frank's shoulders, "you have school sweetie come on." 

Frank groaned and opened his eyes to see his mother, looming over him, "Franko you're going to be late," she said, the olive skinned woman glaring.

Frank nodded, "yes mama, one minute," he said, his voice high and rough with sleep.

"You know I know why you're tired, sneaking out to practise," she groaned, "I knew I shouldn't have let your dad built you that," 

She was referring to the small dance studio, it was more for practising stretches to improve his flexibility and certain moves, opposed to the routines he would need a space three times the size to even consider starting his routine.

But he absolutely adored it none the less, his father was talented at woodwork, often making and selling furniture, it was highly sought after and he was considering quitting his job to go full time especially since he had made a website and his works were now something people were desperate for.

"Mama you know I need the practise," Frank whined, clawing himself out of bed to pick out his 'punkier' clothes.

"Yes I know but you must sleep, eat and go to school Franko, you can't be tired when your dancing, or weak," she argued, giving him a disapproving look as she went to make him breakfast.

Frank sighed as he begrudgingly pulled of the warm cotton pyjamas that encased him and pulled on some thing deemed more appropriate for school.

He felt the rough fabric on his soft skin as pulled on jeans, he looked down to his feet, they were not a pretty sight, they developed corns and skin flaked, his nails had to be neatly trimmed incase they became ingrown, the knuckles of his toes were bruised nearly purple and he had a constant fear or breaking toes.

He sighed down at them, he was lucky his mum was a beauty therapist and knew how to properly care for his feet.

He covered his feet in bandages and attempted to stuff cotton in his socks, he couldn't risk someone treading on his toes and breaking the nail, or the entire toe.

Once he was sure his feet were completely safe he finished getting dressed he brushed his teeth before running down to eat whatever his mum had prepared.

French toast, his mother's favourite lay waiting for him as he hopped down the last of the stairs.

"Thank you mama," he said, quickly grabbing a knife and fork.

His mother smiled approvingly, "no problem Frank, now I'm going to get a shower, I'll see you later today," she said, kissing the top of his head before exiting the room.

Frank finished before putting his leftovers in a small bundle for his dog friend and his plates in the washer.

He grabbed his bag and left, the tapping of his feet in time with the Arctic Moneys who were playing.

Eventually he came across his friend, who stood mid pavement looking expectant.

"Hey buddy," Frank said, crouching down to pet the dogs head, "here ya go," he said, noticing the dog sniff his pocket, he pulled out the leftover crusts.

The dog leapt up, offering Frank there rather large paw, Frank giggled, throwing the dog some.

"OI MATE," he heard a voice yell suddenly, a boy with shoulder length black hair and pyjamas bottoms with cartoon superheros was yelling at him, "you tryna steal my dog, lad," he said angrily.

Frank stared up at him, his eyes wide with fear, Bert stopped in the mist of his rampage, "oh it's you," he said, tilting his head, strangely similar to how his dog did, "sorry for yelling I just don't want anyone to steal my dog," 

Frank slowly nodded, "that's okay, sorry I visit them when I walk past,"

Bert nodded, "she's charming ain't she," he said, pointing to the mutt, who stared dumbly, "go on in the house, Pippa," he said, whistling. The dog grunted and Frank threw him the last of the food before it waddled on in.

"Well I guess I'll walk with you," Bert said, "lemme grab my bag," 

Bert ran in the house before Frank could accept or reject the offer, "aren't you going to change," he yelled after the taller, who then came into sight.

"Na," he said, slinging the bag on his back, "I'll tell everyone they're hipster jeans,"

Frank nodded and watched as Bert placed a cigarette between his lips, quickly igniting it with a flick of a lighter.

"You not smoke kid," Bert asked, puffing out some smoke, Frank shook his head, "don't, fucks you're lungs up and shit,"

"You sound like a teacher but alright," Frank said.

They walked the rest of the way to school, making small talk and as they walked up the steps they heard a bell go off.

"I'm gunna finish my cig, see ya later," Bert said, again, leaning under the 'no smoking' sign.

Frank waved, "bye," he said as he continued on in.

He was standing at his locker when he heard some one behind him, "so you're a fag, right?" 

Frank whipped around, a guy with short wavy hair with a fade stood behind him, he was far taller than Frank, by nearly seven inches, as Frank only stood at his measly 5'3 the stranger was nearly six foot.

"That's none of your business, what'd ya want," Frank replied, his voice no where near as strong as he would have liked.

The taller made a huffing noise, "don't want no sinners in the school," he said, advancing on Frank.

Frank rolled his eyes but began to cower against his locker as he felt the taller tower over him, "little faggot's scared," he laughed, crouching down in a patronising way, "little gay boy should be scared, get ready for later," he whispered in his ear.

Frank whimpered lightly, "go away," he tried to escape but he was trapped between the taller and his locker.

He backed off, grabbing Frank and turning him round, pining him to the locker Frank yelped and felt his bag being ripped off his back, "I'll leave you be but have fun finding this," he laughed before stalking off with Frank's bag in hand.

Frank watched in horror as he left, he didn't want to follow but the school was huge and he could hide it anywhere, so he tip toed after, internally thanking all those years of ballet for blessing him with a featherlight walk.

He crept behind the tall boy and noticed another boy appear, "you took his fuckin bag man," he said laughing, "nice one,"

Frank glowered when he realised, it was Gerard, what the fuck did the guy have against him, like God it was 2017, did people even care about gays anymore, this had to lie deeper.

He followed them half way round the school, making sure to stay hidden, although, he was nearly certain Gerard spotted him but was grateful when he said, or didn't see anything.

He nearly tripped at one stage over some idiots discarded jacket, God knows where it came from.

They eventually arrived at the other end of the school, where his bag was dumped behind some statue of Jesus, the two taller boy's laughed and each over, "he'll never find it here" Frank's nameless tormentor spoke with glee, Gerard nodded in agreement.

"Here I wanna catch a smoke before I go to class, you comin'," Gerard asked, his friend nodded, "I don't smoke but aye sure,"

Frank, in-between lockers, crouched as low as he could as they passed, thankfully oblivious to his risky escapade in following them.

Frank poked his head from behind the locker once they were sure they had passed and scampered on to get his bag from behind the annoying religious symbol.

He slung it around his shoulders and checked his phone, first class was nearly over, there was no point in going to his single physics now so he simply walked to his French double, hoping no questions would be asked from his classmates.

Frank's first language was Italian, then English so now he had taken the task of learning a third, since ballet was originally from France he thought it seemed quite fitting.

He stood outside the room for a while and was eventually let in by the bald French teacher.

"Bonjour, Frank, you're early today," he said, his thick French accent leaking through as he spoke, he was fond as Frank, he was a hard worker and obedient.

"I got out early, sir," Frank smiled, lying through his teeth as he sat down.

"Ah that's fortune, lovely," he said smiling, "we are going over food since half your class have forgotten, hand out these worksheets please" 

Frank nodded, "okay sir,"

***

Frank sat in the canteen, his head felt like it was going to explode with the noise, Jimmy and Bert were arguing about cheese and how Jimmy thought it was shit while Bert was arguing in it's favour.

Frank, on the other hand was staring at Gerard, he looked irritated and really he would be quite pretty if he didn't have the sneer on his face. 

It was rather irritating, if only he would smile, Frank could probably make him if he wasn't quite so resentful of him.

Frank pouted as his head pounded and Gerard's angry face grew more and more morose.

Frank couldn't watch it, the sorrowful boy for any longer and he was no longer hungry.

********

Gerard sat with a face of stone. The noises around him- constant and loud, too loud. It made his head hurt and bones ache. 

He needed to get out of here, get out before he burned it to the ground but before he left he noticed a pair of wide eyes looking at him.

Making a deafening creak with his chair, Gerard stood dramatically causing people around him to stare in confusion. 

He sulked off until he stood in front of Frank, shooting him his most threatening glare he grabbed him by the collar and ragged him off his seat. 

"Listen here faggot, keep your fucking filthy eyes off me okay," he growled out a threat looking into the boys terrified face before carelessly dropping him back into his seat. 

As he was about to leave he heard someone yelling his name. He turned round and was faced with a punch to the nose off non other than Jimmy Urine and god did it hurt like a bitch. 

"What is wrong with you lately," Bert stood next to Jimmy, with a threatening voice that had a tint of sadness, dropping his cheese argument. 

"We used to be best friends and now you're picking on innocent kids for no fucking reason, this isn't you Gerard and it never has been," he began yelling in fustration catching the attention of practically everyone in the cafateria. 

Gerard cradled his nose, at least it didn't feel broken. "Fuck off," he snapped at him. He was too angry in that moment, with a bleeding nose that was bound to bruise later and an attitude that was ready to explode.

Jimmy raised his fist back ready to punch him again before Frank leapt up and held his arm. "Dont," he pleaded. Why, he didn't know. 

"Just, let him leave," he said. Jimmy looked at him as if he were insane but listened to him anyway, dropping his arm back to his side. 

"I hope you feel proud of yourself," Jimmy spat at Gerard, literally spitting on his face and sitting back down. 

And that was about when Gerard snapped, he marched out of the school with steam practically coming out of his ears. He felt the need to tear something apart snd destroy. 

He caught Zach, sitting on the curbe obviously ditching too. When Zach saw him he sprang to his feet, staring at his face.

"Dude what the fuck happened to your face, makes you look even uglier than you did before," he chuckled. 

"Oh piss off," he replied anger evident in his tone as he sat on the curb Zach was previously.

"Whats got your panties in a twist," his jokes had never once made Gerard laugh but he didn't think that was the intention of them anyway.

"Nothing just drop it," he sighed deeply. "Do you wanna go set fire to something?" He asked with a malicious smirk.

"You are one crazy motherfucker Gerard, thats why I like you," he announced and they began to go find something to burn. 

***

The flames danced above them, the crackling and spitting filling Gerards ears and soothing his head. He wanted so desperatly to walk into the flames and let them engulf him, just burn his dirty skin right off his body along with every flaw and every doubt, every regret and every sin. 

He closed his eyes and let the warmth warm his cold heart. Zach had long lost interest and was seemingly messaging someone on his phone whilst Gerard stood and didnt move his eyes until all he was looking at was a pile of ash.

The numbing feeling washed over him once again as he turned back to Zach who put his phone in his pocket to leave. 

"I've heard Bill's havin' a killer party, I'm goin' are you?" He asked as Gerard lit a cigarette and placed it between his needy lips. 

"Sure whatever," he replied once he took a long drag. Smoke filled his lungs like a warm embrace.

They arrived outside a lit up house. Music vibrated through the walls incessantly and crashed their way through Gerards skull. This made the need to get drunk swarm his thoughts until he couldn't think about anything else. 

The liquid was cool and burning down his throat. Must have been some of the stronger stuff, and it served its purpose to cloud his head over with a pleasent fog. By the fifth cup his eyesight was blurred slightly and he staggered to an empty couch after much pushing past sweaty bodies. 

He collapsed on the seat, a sigh falling from his mouth as if he were sitting on a cloud rather some dirty old couch. He'd long lost Zach but didn't really care. He didn't care about anything.

His head fell to the back of the sofa as he brought his drink back to his lips and let it run smoothly down his throat. This is all he wanted to do all night. Just let the shitty music and the stale drinks numb the overwhelming pain in his head. 

So when some girl decided to take a seat right on his lap he wasn't particularly happy about it.

"Hey," she purred, glossy lips shimmering in the dull lighting. She was drunk which was quite obvious by the way she slumped her whole weight on him and even then seemed to not be able to support herself, and you could tell by the strong smell of alcohol on her foul mouth. 

It wasn't the alcohol that made Gerard want to be sick then so he simply slinked the girl off his lap and next to him so he could leave. "Hey where you goin' sweetheart," now Gerard thought about it he actually recognised this girl. 

Yeah, total bitch of course. Most people in his school were. He looked at her, Bethany, and flipped her off before hunching over and emptying the contents of his stomach onto the already stained carpet. She looked at him repulsed but Gerard never wanted her to find him attractive anyway.

After this action, his eyesight began to blacken round the edges and his skull felt like it was shattering. He stumbled backwards straight into someone familiar. 

"Gerard?" But he'd blacked out falling straight onto the crowded dance floor.

******

He woke up with his head pressed against cold glass. His head was still fogged over from drinks but he vaguely recognised the fact that he was in a car. Lazily, his eyes rested on the person actually driving the car. It was Bert, humming along to the scratchy sound the radio sicked out.

"Wha-?" He slurred, he was deffinatly still drunk.

"Ah your awake. You passed out on me so I'm taking you home," Bert said, not taking his eyes from the road.  
"Haven't you been drinking too?" Gerard asked concentrating real hard on how to talk properly.

"Yeah but your house aint too far," he reasoned, not a very good reasoning but Gerard was too light headed to care. 

"I thought you hated me now," Gerard slurred trying to sit up and failing miserably. 

"No Gerard, you hate me. I never said I hated you," Bert replied.

Gerard groaned, slamming his head back onto the window. His eyes drifted shut as he waited out the small drive back to his house.

"I think Franks over," Bert said as he took his seatbelt off and left the car to open Gerard's door. Gerard tumbled out of the car messily, barely being able to stand if it weren't for Bert's support. 

The information didn't really settle in for a while until Gerard was fumbling with his key. He groaned as he twisted it and finally pushed his way in. 

"Thanks for the lift," he muttered stumbling into his house and grasping the wall for support.

"Sure. Will you be alright?" Gerard had no idea why he was being so kind all of a sudden.   
"I'll be fine," he slurred back, kicking the door shut in Bert's face rudely but too drunk and obnoxious to care.

Silence deafened the house as Gerard made his way in, tripping and stumbling. The light in he kitchen was on but he didn't care as he went in search for more alcohol stored in the fridge. He knew his dad would kill him, but that would be tomorrow and he lived in the now. 

He lazily opened the can and almost spilled it with how drunk he currently was. 

After a long drink, he finally actually noticed that there was another person in the room. A person that he both wanted to tell to fuck off but also for some reason just stare at for a while.

"The fuck are you looking at freak," he slurred, Frank looked quite on edge as he spoke.   
"S-sorry," he mumbled under his breath, putting his glass of water down and retreating. 

That was before he heard a loud thud right behind him. He whipped around to see Gerard face down on the floor and making failed attempts to get up himself. 

He slumped against the fridge as tears began to fall out of his eyes. Startled, Frank kinda just stood there not knowing what to do. 

The selfless rabbit hopping around most of his brain forced him to go over to Gerard and hold out a hand. He stared at it at first, then at Frank, then back to the hand. He embarrassingly took it and allowed himself to put his full weight on the too kind boy.

No words were spoken until Frank had successfully dropped Gerard's body onto the couch. 

"You're still a fuckin gay boy," he mumbled tiredly, pushing his face into a pillow away from the boy. 

"Right. Night Gerard," he said, turning around and not really surprised Gerard still acted so cold. What did surprise him was the very quite almost non existent "thankyou" that Gerard whispered before he closed his eyes. Whether he intentionally wanted Frank to hear he had no idea, but he had.


	6. Caught In The Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi leave us comments please we like validation & approval.

Frank gently pushed his way through the crowds of people, the halls were filled to bursting point and it was like trying to fight off a buffalo.

He had ballet right after school and wasn't intending to miss any part of it, his normal bag on his back and bag of ballet clothes held in front, he was gently attempting at pushing people out of the way with his bag.

He finally escaped the crowded halls and made his way down the stone school steps but unfortunately for him there was someone waiting for him.

Gerard was smoking, acting like a cool kid, leaning with one foot against the a pillar at the bottom of the stairs and he was staring directly at Frank. 

Beside him his overly tall friend stood smirking at Frank, an evil glint in his eyes. Frank started to walk a little faster praying they'd take no notice of him but that unfortunately wasn't the case.

The tall boy, Zach? Advanced towards him, a malicious grin on his face, Frank stopped before they slammed into each over.

"Hey Frankie," the boy said, staring down at him, Frank cringed at the use of the usually pleasant nickname.

Frank looked around, desperate for some form of help, he made eye contact with Gerard, his eyes pleading and wide with fear. Gerard only grimaced, then a look of guilt washed over his features as he turned away, inhaling heavily on his cigarette.

Frank turned back, "he ain't gunna help you," the taller said, making a grab for Frank's smaller bag, Frank dodged it.

"maybe I should make this one harder for you to find," Zack laughed menacingly.

Frank glowered, he wasn't missing ballet for this asshole, he hugged his bag closer to his chest and attempted to walk past but was stopped as his collar was grabbed.

"Get off me, you prick," he half shouted, slightly terrified as the wavy haired boy dragged him back as he flailed and yanked the bag out of his hands.

Frank yelped and jumped up, in hopes of getting the bag back, but Zack held it high, far out of Frank's reach.

"Maybe I should take your precious stuff and rub it in dirt," he pondered, slowly unzipping the bag.

Frank was freaking out, his ballet shoes were in there, and leotard and other dance clothes.

"don't you dare do that," he squeaked as he flung his arms wildly in the air, Zack kept laughing.

"Gerard, what the fuck," came another voice.

Mikey stood beside Gerard, Jimmy, Bert and Chantal beside him. Gerard guiltily looked down, "ain't me doin' it," he mumbled.

Mikey literally growled and Jimmy layed a hand on his shoulder, "calm down Mikes," he said, "Gerard's been a real prick lately,"

Frank watched, Zach was too, with obviously keen interest, so Frank decided to make use of the situation, "gimme back my bag," he yelled triumphantly, jumping as high as he could and succeeding in pulling the bag out of Zach's off guard hand.

Zach turned to him, "you little fucker," he growled, clenching and swinging a fist right at Frank's face, he heard a few gasps come from the bystanders.

Frank panicked, in an attempt to avoid the fist he started leaning away, only he didn't stop leaning until it was to late, he had bent in half.

From upsidedown Frank saw a few people gape, he dangled for a moment before he quickly pulled himself up, all the arguing had stopped and all Frank's friends had there mouths dangling open.

Frank looked to Zach who was in mild awe too, Frank realised he was just standing there and ran off as fast as he could.

"What the fuck" he heard Jimmy yell behind him.

"Frank, wait," another chimed, Chantal sounded worried but Frank didn't care, he wanted to get away and to his safe haven.

Frank moved quickly, making sure to avoid everyone who looked even vaguely familiar.

He took a shortcut through the small forest, which he only took if he was desperate, it was pretty creepy, the trees loomed over him and cast shadows everywhere, Frank grimaced every time he heard the crack of a branch or rustle of leaves, the ominous shadows adding to the paranoia that something, or someone was planning to scare him.

He then had to go through the kids park, which wasn't scary except for the occasional look from a parent.

He arrived at the studio, thankfully ten minutes before the lesson so he had time to change before it commenced.

He slipped into the boys changing room which was, exceedingly small for one but it was understandable considering he was one of the only boys.

He changed as fast as he could and put on plenty of deodorant.

Soon into the process of changing he realised his hair was hanging in his eyes, he tried swooping it away but to no avail, he needed a haircut soon but currently he had to get his hair away from his face.

He sighed realising he should visit the girls for assistance.

He walked over in his cotton padded socks to the girls room and knocked on the door, he could hear the giggles and murmurs from the other side and the door swung open.

"Hello," said a girl, poking her head out from behind the door, her hair was in a tight bun, he recognised her as Megan, she was cool, "oh hey Frankie what's up,"

"You wouldn't have like a spare hair pin, would you?" He asked

"One sec," Megan said, disappearing behind the door, he heard a few mumbles of asking who it was and such and Megan reappeared quite soon.

"Here you go," she said, handing him a bobby pin.

Frank stared at it blankly, entirely unsure of how to use it, he'd seen the girls do it before but he didn't understand.

"Want me to do it?" Megan asked, giggling at Frank's clueless expression, Frank shamefully nodded and giggled as Megan took it from him and stood fully in the corridor fixing at his hair.

"You hair's so soft oh my gosh," she said, pulling his fringe back and slipping the pin in to hold it back.

"Thank you," Frank said, it felt weird having it in his hair but he would adjust.

"Anytime, Frankie," she said, smiling as she slid back into the changing room.

Frank hummed as he walked back to his own changing room, he was changed, only needing to put on his shoes.

He took off his socks, cringing at the way they were bruised and beaten, he had to get his mother to look at them again tonight as he was afraid of the consequences of ignoring them.

He slipped on the shoes and laced them up and gave himself a moment to prepare before going into the large practise space.

He walked out, there were by many there, besides a few girls who all took there dancing very seriously, the rest of the girls tended to stay giggling in the dressing room until they had to leave, of course the serious girls won competitions.

Frank got himself water and started stretching, putting on leg up on a pole and rotating his foot.

He sighed in relief as he began to get into his headspace for dancing, he would feel invisible and ignored it as he heard all the other girls pour in, the slight lilt of the girls giggles attempted to distract him. 

He droned them out as he continued, rolling his neck and stretching his arms.

It was all going rather well until a high pitched screech, that even Frank couldn't ignore rang throughout the room.

"HE'S WATCHING US," a younger student, Joey, yelled, pointing up towards a small window at the top corner of the room.

Frank stared up at it, a face was most definitely there, it wasn't old and perverted like Frank had expected but young and wide eyed with shock, and vaguely familiar.

One of the assistant dance coaches seen and she immediately looked angry, she marched out of the room, everyone assumed it was to catch the mysterious watcher.

A few moments later she came back, the culprit in hand, Frank's jaw dropped as he seen Gerard get pushed into the room, his arm in a vice grip.

"This is the guy," the assistant said, as she stood Gerard in front of Frank and the girls, "who was watching,"

Frank gawked at Gerard, disbelieving of what his eye were so obviously telling him

****

Ryan was looking at Gerard.

His eyes spoke comfusment as he looked at Gerards weary face.  
"What?" Gerard finally asked.

"Bert says you fell out?" He asked, picking up his brush and idly and yet precisely applying paint to his work.

Gerard shrugged.

Wasn't like it was any of his buisness anyway.

"I guess we did," Gerard responded, dropping his eyes to his own painting. The skeleton looked an off white and the rose petals were a violent red, almost thrashing at the love the skeleton could never feel. Maybe in some ways like Gerard and the gaping emptiness he couldn't escape.

"Why?" Ryan persisted, eyes back to burning into Gerard as if he were interrogating him.

"It doesn't matter, christ!" Gerard suddenly yelled, slamming his fist onto the table an shocking Ryan.  
"Jesus sorry," he muttered, putting full focus on his painting now to avoid Gerards agitated state.

Gerard didnt apologise.

++++

 

The sky was grey.

Or was it?

For gerard the sky was most definitely grey. And the flowers all definitely looked wilted. And the cigarette in his hand definitely looked like an escape from his miserable existence.

Zach was a dick. But so was Gerard see so the friendship was going perfectly well, as well as anything could go for gerard.

Zach planned on waiting for Frank to exit school despite Gerard asking if they could both just go home.   
"What so suddenly you don't wanna teach this pussy a lesson?"

"No I just don't wanna waste my time on some faggot, lets just go," but it was too late as he noticed the familiar delicate specimen walk out of the huge school doors. 

His eyes focused on the way he walked, how his hips would sway out like he was still in his ballet class. He focused on the pale sliver of skin on his neck that looked softer than a peach, softer than his taunting silk lips softer than his velvet hair.   
Frank had started to walk faster.  
So did Zach.

Zach finally stood in front of the poor rabbit, all taunt and muscle as he stood like a rock.  
"Hey Frankie," he heard him drawl out in a sickeningly sweet voice laced with venom.

Franks stared right at Gerard, eyes wide and scared and possibly one big punch in the gut to Gerard as he turned away feeling neasous. He found alot more interest in his cigerette in that moment.

Sometimes if felt like his conscious split in two. One told him countless times that nothing was worth anything, that the dismal abyss death would surely bring with it would be a better use of his time. The other argued, told him he had friends and family. But now, did he have friends? They surely hated him. His parents were always too busy with work and Mikey despised him after he acted to dreadfully.

He sighed realised at some point Zach had stopped and was staring at someone besides him.  
His former friends stood there, anger lighting their eyes.

His eyes dropped to the floor, the guilt he felt curled itself around his innards and strangled them, set them alight and spat them out. 

"What the fuck, Gerard" a voice asked, Gerard couldn't bring himself to lift his gaze.

"Ain't me doin' it," he childishly defended himself.  
He took a drag from his cigarette, ignoring everything around him as it escalated. That's when he noticed that the rabbit now in a full blown backbend. 

Zach, Jimmy and Bert all began yelling, Mikey just stood there looking awkward like the lanky teenager he is.

Gerard sighed, he felt tired but as he looked at where Frank had been stood he realised he was most likely heading to his dance class. Upon realising this, he stomped out his cigerette and stalked off down the route he had grown so familiar of. 

+++++

It reminded him of summer, when everything was so bright and colourful that misery only lied under rocks and in hidden dark corners. His movements were like the flowers when they swayed gently back and forth, elegant and delicate and you think they might just snap in two but they don't they stand back up straight, proud and beautiful.

He wore a bobby pin in his hair.

His soft hair he wished he fingers could tangle in.

His face was painted in focus by the finest of artists who surely took their whole life purely devoted to such a masterpeice. 

Gerard was a mess.

Then, of course, the bubble of tranquility he shrouded himself in was burst violently as a small boy pointed to him from within the room. Then everyones eyes landed on him...

Then Franks eyes landed on him...

He knew he couldn't recognise him from there, his expression would be full of alot more alarm.

Before he knew what was going on, an arm tightly gripped.

"Ah fuck let go," he yelled, trying to bat away with vice grip someone held on his arm.

"No your coming with me mister. What were you doing peeping out here? Bloody lunatic." She said with no gap or indication that she wanted an actual answer. 

And then, he was being pulled into the room.

The big room.

Full off curious eyes.

And Frank...

It was obvious Frank recognised him then. All wide eyed and panic stricken.

"This is the guy who was watching," the woman still strangling his arm commenting despite it being obvious.

Gerards head raced, Frank could see him. Know he was watching him. But maybe he didnt think he was watching him? Because he wasnt, of course he wasnt watching him he was just... researching. 

Yeah.

Research.

"Gerard!?" Frank finally asked.

"You know him?" Her grip tightened and Gerard held in a gasp of pain. 

"Yeah, I- hes my friends brother- can we talk outside please?" The question was either directed at Gerard or the gorilla holding onto him but he supposed it was the woman when he grunted and let Gerard go. He rubbed his soar arm as he stalked off outside with Frank trailing behind on feather light toes.

"Gerard please- please don't tell anyone about-" frank started as they got outside but was cut off.

"I wont" Gerard's eyes were wide and somehow Frank saw no lie in them. "I wont tell anyone but-" he sighed deeply as if having an internal mental battle with himself.

"As long as," his voice dropped lower. "As long as you don't tell anyone about this-" and before Frank could question Gerard had his lips on his. 

Gerard's hands held softly onto Franks angular jaw, the soft skin under the pads of his fingers feeling just like goldy locks' endeavours into little bears porridge. 

As soon as he was there he was gone, but the tingle on his lips remained as well as the warm feeling in his cheeks. 

Franks expression was one of many different things Gerard couldn't quite understand, things he didn't want to understand.

"Gerar-"   
"No, just. This is mine and yours secret okay? You don't tell anyone." Gerard deadpanned, staring into Frank's confused eyes.

"Okay," he whispered in reply, as Gerards face was too close to his he lost his words somewhere along Gerards lips.

"Good," Gerard sighed, eyes closed and visibly relaxing at Franks words. 

"Forget this happened," he said firmly, staring down at the boy in means of intimidating him. As he turned to leave he paused, turning back to leave a lingering kiss to Franks soft cheek before spinning round and speed walking away as fast as he could.

Unfortunately he couldn't escape the studio without an earful and threat to phone the police from the owner of the studio.


	7. Lips Of An Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas you guys, thanks for reading & a comment is a good christmas present ;;00

Frank was unsure, he felt like nothing made sense and if he was honest, nothing did. His first kiss had been his worst tormentor?

He was so conflicted and quite frankly awestruck, why on earth had Gerard done that, he felt like he had entered a different dimension and maybe he had for all he knew.

Had he hated it? No, it more of a surprise, maybe Gerard had been desperate and using him but then again the way he ever so gently touched his jaw told him otherwise.

Or maybe this was all some trick, some cruel trick to manipulate him, he had no idea what was to come with this but he imagined it couldn't be good, unless Gerard had completely changed his opinion of him, but that was unlikely.

Frank couldn't think of a reasonable explanation as to why Gerard would even consider that, he had to take his mind of it, he had to take his mind of it.

He wanted to go back to dance but he could see Gerard in the office, once he tried to run off he'd been caught again by Ms Lee, who seemed to be yelling at him currently.

Frank had intended to start dancing again but he couldn't help but stare, through the window to Ms Lee's office, like everyone else.

Ms Lee eventually noticed and scowled at the girls before pulling down the curtains to obscure them from the view.

Frank sighed and shook himself, he could think about this later, he had to practise in the space when he had the chance.

So he started to stretch again and slowly began to get into his headspace again and his dance was getting there, he was excited to show it the Ms Lee and have the whole floor.

It was his room he went straight too when he got home, of course, he kissed his mother's cheek before, as he always did when he got home first.

He stripped of his sweaty clothes and put on more comfortable pyjamas, he wanted to be cosy while he moped & wondered why.

Why him and why in general.

Another distraction, he needed a new vice to keep his mind of it, maybe not dance, he would get distracted by the memory of stopping and seeing Gerard bluntly stare at him.

He rummaged around his room before finding string, he could remember he and Yolandi bought it, when they were much younger, so they could make friendship bracelets, just because they were bored, the idea came in a book Yolandi owned about activities for sleepovers.

Frank grabbed what he could and googled the method before starting to weave the strings into a pattern and shape.

Frank ended up doing it so mindlessly he had three done before snapping back into reality, he ended up sinking into thoughts of Gerard and ballet and whatever else his brain could conjure up.

Frank stared at the small pile, what on earth was he to do with all of these.

He did remember there original intention for friends, maybe one for Mikey, and Chantal, she was overly nice to him and deserved a token of appreciation.

Perhaps he owed them an explanation too, Mikey already knew of ballet but not of his strange backbending abilities, he hoped he didn't think he was a freak.

Eventually his thought process wandered from Mikey to Gerard, of course, he couldn't escape the angry dark haired man.

Frank decided to take up another past time, looking at random stuff online, shopping, who didn't love it.

He always ended up staring at skirts, he didn't know what it was about them but they were so intriguing, the way they flowed and swished when the person moved and it all just seemed so appealing to Frank, even if it was for girls.

Frank liked a particular one, it had the flow he loved so much and a pink sheen fabric over it, he adored it and wished for it to be his but these were girls clothes, shouldn't he be disgusted by them? He was glad no one knew of his affiliation, one of his secrets that no one would know.

He cursed himself, he should have normal interests that wouldn't get him in trouble, ones that made him fit in, of course he was small too, he couldn't be a big rugby player that would be intimidating, no one would pick on him then.

But he didn't want to scare people, everything had a downside, unfortunately his appearance and hobbies had a rather large downside but what could he do, he was stuck like this.

Mikey liked him though, and Chantel and maybe Gerard, maybe if this wasn't a big joke Gerard didn't hate him.

Who knew, Frank most certainly didn't.

Frank checked the time, 8.30, it wasn't too late to give Mikey a bracelet was it? Mikey stayed up late so he doubted it.

He walked downstairs, "hi mama," he said, "I'm going to visit Mikey, I'll be back soon"

His mother nodded, "that's alright Frankie, tell me if you decide to stay over," Frank nodded and went upstairs, he grabbed a bracelet and walked out of the house.

Wandering along, his feet lightly tapping along the ground to some unspoken rhythm, a light breeze blew against him and he could feel his hair blowing around but the cool air relaxed him.

Eventually he found himself knocking the Way's front door along to the same rhythm as before, waiting for inevitable opening.

It was opened by someone Frank was not expecting, Gerard looked at him and his eyes widened, Gerard seemed to nearly slam the door in Frank's face before someone yelled.

"Who is it, Gee?" Mikey shouted, Gerard sighed and Frank heard footsteps and Mikey appeared behind Gerard, "oh hey, Frankie, Gerard hasn't been annoying you has he?"

Frank shook his head, Gerard looked blank and walked away, leaving Frank a blushing mess, his first kiss hated him, it was humiliating.

"You gunna come in there or just stand there?" Mikey asked, standing aside to let him in, Frank entered the house, "hey Mikey," he mumbled.

Mikey laughed, "I'm gunna like, skip the bullshit, what the fuck was that the other day," he said as they walked to the living room, Gerard sat in the corner, violently tapping at his phone.

"Can you do that back thing again?" Mikey asked, Frank smiled a little, "sure," he muttered before doing his usually trick.

Mikey whooped at him, laughing as Frank straightened up again, "I knew you done cool stuff like that your..." he trailed off, looking Gerard out of the side of his eye, "your lessons," he continued, "but I didn't think it was anything like that,"

Frank smiled, "I've been able to do it for ages, we don't do this stuff in class, natural ability," Mikey laughed.

Gerard remained emotionless in his corner and Frank's uplifted mood dampened when he spotted him. He remembered the reason he came over, he withdrew his bracelet from his pocket and handed it to Mikey.

Mikey gasped, "no way, dude thanks, where'd you get it," 

"I made it," Frank mumbled, Mikey's grin widened, "the hell man, thank you," Mikey said, giving Frank a quick hug before slipping the bracelet on.

"Do you wanna go upstairs?" Mikey asked, Frank nodded, and he followed Mikey up the stairs, quickly glancing at Gerard and sighing as he was ignored once again, he could feel his heart hurt and a frown found it's way onto his face.

"You gunna stay over tonight," Mikey shouted down the stairs.

Maybe Mikey could cheer him up, Mikey was good at that, "sure, I just need to text mama and it'll be fine,"

 

***********

His lips still tingled even as he walked away with brisk. His lips still tingled even as the rain beat down on his face harshly.

And as much as Gerard hated it, his tounge did not feel bitter. It did not feel like his tounge twisted in tasteless remorse, but quite the oposite. Franks lips were sweet and soft as rose petals, tantalising to his weak mind and a vice grip on his frigid heart.

But now the clouds tears soaked into his clothes, they mingled with salty streams that escaped his worn out eyes and stuck clad to his pale skin. 

Tumbling through his door he didn't even think before he was in his room, collapsing onto the floor from exhausting. The questions he asked himself tired him out, hit him round the head like a fist and knocked him to the ground. 

"Stupid stupid stupid," he muttered over and over, gripping the greasy strands of hair between his slender fingers and tugging harshly. It stung and ached; good. 

On wobbly legs, he stood up and instead positioned himself on his bed where he stared up at the ceiling through bleary eyes. The walls, the ceiling, the possessions he owned, they were all so artificial it made his head spin. 

And his clothes, his skin, his blood were all so god damn artificial. It was in that moment he remembered the cabinets jam packed with pills so strong they could kill him from the inside out. The thought so enticing his stomach jumped with nerve or hope. 

He made no move to get up. And so he made no move to take the pills in hand. And he made no move to swallow them dry, as many as he needed to make the feeling go away. The feeling in his arms and legs and head and heart, they could all just go away. But that was only in his head, the idealistic solution to his problems. However, life proclaimed him a coward as he simply layed there feeling sorry for himself. 

++++++

The lips of an angel bit his heart, his brain awash with chanting synchronise. No declaration of a life long passion could pass his tongue but the feeling dwelled to deep he couldn't even hear it whimper. He stroked its delicate cheek, feeling so many things from such a simple gesture and only had the slight twinge at the back of his head to pull away.

For the first time in a while he felt his lips tug into a smile, looking down at twinkling eyes like galaxies he suffocates in. The hands wrap around his throat, holding him in place. But there is no conflict, he goes so obediently.

The grip oddly feels like release, release from himself as he found someone tying him to the ground. Who needs to fly when you can feel the grass between your toes and smell the roses.

Wavey brown hair falls on his face whilst a smile graces his features. The boy untangles his hands from his neck and steps back, taking his hand instead with a giggle and pulling it to his lips. 

Kissing his fingers individually with chaste ease.

He stares at him as he giggles again, spinning away with certain elegancy he recognises. 

+++++++++

Gerard woke up.  
He didn't remember falling asleep, he only remembered how stupid he was, and now his idiocy stretches even to his dreams, his only salvage so rudely broken into by pretty eyes and delicate limbs.

He needed to forget. 

One solution, he thought, resided in the cupboards and secret stash of booze. Sweet poison, he could already taste burning his throat as his craving grew. And there he was, crouched in front of the wonderland of bottles, pulling out whatever looked strongest and locking it to his sinfull lips.

His melancholy mood surely would deterioate as he drank more and more. And so it did as he found his jaw become stiff and the world to become blurry. After initially getting used to the poison in his veins, he gathered his feet and left the kitchen with two more bottles of 'whatever the fuck' (his head named it) and leaving to the solitude of his room. 

+++++++

His eyes cracked open, picture attacking his eyes and his brain like an enemy throwing knives. 

Throwing the covers off his body, he attempted to get out of bed but only managed to fall off quite ungracefully onto his floor. His head thumped harder, as if a marching band played violent tunes, a song for their enemy to cowar from. 

Mumbles tumbled from his lips as he attempted to stand, stopping to violently throw up in his bin and wonder why he thought the bottles had helped. 

They never did. 

He checked the clock and found the hands desperately pointing at night hours making him groan. In a moment he was down the the stairs, everything hazy from drunken sleep, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it with cool water. 

He gulped it down quickly, feeling it slip down his throat easily and cool his insides before he heard a knock on the door. With a glance around he realised he would sadly have to answer it himself. 

On the other side, he did not expect the puppy eyes looking back is slight shock. Gerard stared at the boy, a million things going through his head at once but the most prominent one being the urge to throw him against the door and press himself against him. He refrained-instead turning to a blank expression and letting Mikey let the boy in. 

Every time Frank would look at him Gerard swore his heart beat picked up at an alarming rate, and the look of sheer disappointment on his face made Gerard feel simply like shit. 

All he wanted to do was go over to him, swoop him into his arms and run away with him. But at the same time he wanted to kick him out of the house, condemning him to hell for messing with his head in such a way as this. 

Gerard was such a mess. 

But maybe he'd figure out a way to sort his life out for the better. He just didn't know where the solution lied, where happiness would certainly grace his features again. 

He didn't want to feel this way anymore.


	8. I dream at night I can only see your face I look around but it's you I can't replace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year Xx
> 
> .enjoy.

Frank slept over that night, his mama agreeing to the arrangement. She trusted Donna Way with her son and she had a fondness for Mikey. Despite his differences, she knew he would look out for her son.  
After seeing Mikey yell and curse at a boy for seemingly mocking Frank when she came to lift them for a night over, she knew he had onlybgood intentions. They didn't see her but that was how Mikey had earned her trust.

Frank and Mikey had watched some weird horror movies, Mikey had laughed at their terrible graphics and acting, and the overuse of fakw blood. That didn't stop Frank from being slightly disturbed, but he had fun anyway. 

Frank had ballet practise the next day and promised Mikey he'd see if he could stay over again, it was a Saturday so why wouldn't they hang out.

Frank went home for a while, greeting his mother and got changed for ballet.

"Mama," he said, walking down the stairs, Ms Iero nodded, "can I stay at Mikey's tonight?" He asked, using the magic of puppy eyes.  
"Yes okay, but do come home early and do revise on Sunday, you know you have exams, and competition season is coming," she warned, she knew she could rarely turn down Franks requests, but was proud how the boy had never taken advantage of that.

Frank nodded, he knew all this already. "Thank you mama, I'll see you tomorrow." And with that he pecked her cheek and skipped up the stairs.

He had packed an overnight bag, just pyjamas and clothes for tomorrow and after ballet before he left.

Ballet went as usual, he felt like he was floating on air as he danced around, he was gracefull and he knew exactly what to do so every move was as precise as he could get it, nothing particularly unusual until he was changing.

He didn't notice the lurking eyes, watching him through a crack in the wall.

These eyes followed him as he stripped off his shirt and watched his every move, Gerard's eyes were fixed on him and couldn't be dragged away, no matter how hard he'd try. He knew this was wrong, but what even was the definition of wrong, he wondered, as his eyes skanned the boys exposed pale skin. He felt his heart rate pick up as he stayed put in his current position.

His mop had been discarded on the ground, and Frank was about to start changing his bottom half when footsteps came along. Gerard cursed quietly.

The mop was quickly picked up again and Gerard went back to his punishment for being a 'peeping tom'.

"Hey you're the guy who was watching us," came a voice, it was shrill and Gerard rolled his eyes as he turned to face a girl.

She had makeup hastily applied to her snooty face. Gerard could appreciate the art of makeup if it wasn't horrendous which unfortunately wasn't the case with this girl. Gerard vaguely recognised her perhaps from school, or - oh shit it was the girl from that party. Who had times for names though? She never liked him, nor any of his former friends, so if she expected even an ounce of civil words she was sourly mistaken.

It disgusted Gerard she even had the nerve to suggest it was her he was looking at, he sneered and returned to his mopping. 

"I think people like you are gross" the girl taunted and Gerard could feel his blood boil, Frank wouldn't say that, the perfect boy would never. "What? Can't get yourself a girl so you get off on peeping on dancing girls," she smirked.

"Oh fuck off," Gerard growled, "I'd never watch you with your graceless moves, your attitude reflects the epitomy of disgrace, so please, don't insult me with your vulgar presumptions."

The girls face screwed up looking disgusted, then scoffed before turning her heal and walking off, Gerard smirked and returned to his work, sneaking glances at Frank as he put away his clothes obviously unaware of the conversation going on outside.  
A thought crossed his mind to make sure the boy got home safe - so he did exactly that.

He followed the boy but not to Frank's home but to his own. Gerard was confused but watched as Mikey opened the door, he should have known, the two were friendly after all.

Gerard sighed and snuck around the back, to avoid suspicion he watched the two boys continue upstairs and sighed, hopefully there would be something good on tv.

++++

When Frank got back to the Ways, Mikey welcomed him in, asking about how ballet went. They ended up playing some random video game after that but Frank only watched. He had attempted playing then before but he preferred to watch, he'd never really had video games at home and he found Mikey's reactions to be entertainment in itself. The way he screamed in anger when his characters were defeated.

Frank let his eyes wander from the screen for a bit, still hearing Mikey's curses in the background, a book lay on Mikey's bed, "the picture of Dorian Gray" he read aloud, holding up the book, eyes darting over the blurb.

"Oh that's Gerard's," Mikey replied, not looking away from some strange first person shooter game. Frank nodded. That was odd, the book seemed poetic and arty and not at all Gerard like.

Frank lay back on the bed and sighed, the book still in his grip as he looked over the cover. 

"Mikey," came a voice, the door swung open and Gerard stood there, casually swaying, "where's my book," he whined before spotting Frank, immediately stiffening and a blush dusting his usually lifelessly pale face.

The smaller boy's hand was firmly gripped around the hardback classic novel and Frank felt his mouth open slightly in shock.

"H-here," he stuttered, sitting up and handing the book, he could feel his heart flutter as Gerard's hand brushed his, be it nerves or desperate panic. Gerard hadn't even acknowledged it had happened.

The book was slipped out of his hand as Gerard sighed out a small 'cheers' and stepped back.

"Mike's I wanna go on that later," Gerard mumbled, Mikey grunted, "just play with me now," 

His eyes darted to Frank laying on the bed, hin deciding it would just be better if he leave him be. "maybe later," 

Frank's heart dropped, even the idea of being of being in the same room as his first kiss made his heart flutter but disappointment took over as Gerard left.

"Frankie, you wanna play?" Mikey asked, holding the second remote out to him.

A few minutes later Frank was frantically button smashing, desperately trying to kill someone, he wanted to impress Mikey, although the gore in the game made him cringe a bit.

"Jesus, Frank your hilarious," Mikey laughed as Frank died for what must be the twentieth time, "you're so inexperienced have I taught you nothing?" he sighed, Frank giggled too, he truly was useless at this but he could try.

A few hours later, and a lot of curses from Mikey, the other boy had passed out, now fast asleep and snoring rather loudly.

Frank's throat had a dull burning sensation, his throat was raw from shouting at Mikey to calm down and apologising for his unfortunate lack of skill at the game. So here he was, turning off the television and gracelessly attempting to tuck Mikey into bed, he would sleep there too only he would lay the other way round. The two boys had long ago stopped caring about the "no homo" scene, and Mikey felt bad making Frank sleep on the dreadful blow up bed.

Once Frank had Mikey all tucked up and comfortable enough he decided to go down and get a drink.

His bare feet padded against the carpeted stairs, he prayed they wouldn't creak.

The kitchen was dark, but Frank navigated his way to the light swich. He made his way to the fridge, grabbing the water and a glass from a cupboard, he was pouring himself a glass, minding his own business when he spotted the light coming from the television room. He assumed it was Mr or Mrs Way.

Instead, there laying in a bundle of blankets was Gerard.

 

*****

He was sat doing nothing but staring at the brightly lit screen, as it flashed advertisement after advertisement of useless shit he'd never want. He wondered if anyone watched them and genianly went out to buy the product. He highly doubted that, if anything he tried to avoid them.  
Advertisement to Gerard was simply a reminder of human sin. It showed gluttony and greed, leeching after your money, clawing at weak minds to rid you of your pride. He hated them.  
And on top of that, they simply weren't good. Maybe if it was anything else, the poor acting would be comical; but right now Gerard only wanted to violently rip his hair out.  
Those fucking meerkats no longer held the thin humour they had the very first time they aired, every time after that they were just another mindlessly irratating background noise. And the go compare advert, wriggling its way into his head as if it tried to brain wash you. Which it was because people only care about the money that they earn. It was never about god given thoughts and feelings it was only your succeses and gold.

'Love is all you need' like that was ever applied to any real life situation. Love can't buy you bread and water, love can't get you a job. Unhappiness is the key to success, give it all up for the money, place the gun with bullets of misery right at your temple and pull the fucking trigger because life won't get much better.

That was when Gerard had realised his thoughts were spiraling in all the wrong directions. He didn't like that a simple thing such as an advert could make him get lost in the forest of his mind. He tripped over brittle branches and wandered aimlessly. But he knew he would never end up in any sort of positive destination. He never did. He simply couldn't.

Before he could plunge further he noticed someone standing by the doorframe looking at him. He figured it was his mum or dad back from work finally but realised that it was not, in fact, either of them. Instead it was someone he had not expected to be there. Perhaps he had only momentarily forgot the boy was his friends brother but that didn't stop his surprise.

"Hey," he said softly. Gerard stared for a moment more, the lights of the tele occasionally lighting up the boys face amongst the darkness of the room.

"Hey," he said back, sort of too stunned to respond properly. Perhaps that being because he was so deep into his own thoughts only a moment ago that it was hard to just go back down to reality.

He stood there looking awkward for a moment before Gerard came to his senses and beckoned the boy over. Or was it truly coming to his senses? When he saw him then, alone with him and away from prying eyes all he wanted to do was hold him. Wrap him up in the secrecy of their own private universe. But ultimatly, the lingering eyes would always follow them. They'd always be pressed against his head like a fucking telescope. He would never be free.

But right then, in that moment, he was truly free. Especially when the boy timidly came over and layed down beside his stretched out form. Frank was his freedom, his escape, and he took out his pent up aggresion on the freedom he never deemed himself worthy of. But truth was, he was perfectly worthy, and when the boy pressed a delicate kiss to Gerard lips, he tasted freedom.

"You're beautiful," Gerard mumbled, tucking a peice of hair behind his boys ear.  
"So beautiful," he whispered pressing kisses to his jaw and neck. He felt the boy squirm, making small noises that sounded just like the best of dreams.  
He looked up to see him blushing madly, staring up at the cieling.  
"I'm really not," he said quietly. Gerard frowned; it perplexed him how this boy could look at the mirror and not see an angel staring back at him.  
"You're more beautiful than life itself Frankie, I'd rather look at you than blooming flowers or countless sunsets. You are the earths greatest creation, michelangelo's david looks upon you and quivers for he has never seen the likes you, the utter perfection that is you. You are flawlessly beautiful Frank, you must understand."

Frank was shocked, and any reply his brain could possibly muster tripped over and fell rather ungraciosly and left him staring at the other boy.  
"Gerard-" he stuttered, opening and closing his mouth like a fish before simply blushing even brighter and pushing his face into Gerard chest in order to hide.  
"I mean it sweetheart," Gerard whispered, winding the boys hair between his fingers. He felt him push his head impossibly further, making a whine in the back of his throat that sounded like embarresement. Gerard chuckled before tipping Franks head so hed face him and pressing his lips to his. His face was so soft, his skin so unblemished, it drove Gerard almost to insanity if he wasn't dragged down to reality by the boys gentle noises of pleasure.

Gerard almost felt three toxic words falling off his tounge but stopped himself before he scared his little kitten away. He would never be worthy of Frank, and yet he found himself so goddamn addicted to him. It was like a drug, the way he conducted himself, the way he smiled, the way he treated even the filthiest of humans like they were worth something.

"Y'know I was just waiting for the simpsons movie to come on," Gerard said, turning to the screen slightly to see the opening titles appear.  
"Do you want me to go?" Frank asked earnestly.

"Frank, its sad if a teenage boy watches the simpsons movie on his own. However it is less sad watching it with company," he smiled down at the boy, reaching over him to grab the remote off the coffee table to turn the volume on.  
Frank giggled quietly making Gerards heart ache towards the boy pathetically. It concerned him how everything Frank did seemed to make him dizzy on feelings, but at the same time it was a nice replacement of the static he usually felt.

He nuzzled his nose against Franks, smiling down at him like he was the most precious gem in the universe before turning to hold Franks back to his chest.  
He pressed his face into Franks hair, closing his eyes and dwelling in the feeling of Franks body so close to his own. He smelled like a smooth mix of strawberry and vanilla, it wrapped around his head and made him feel so utterly hypnotised by his little princes existence.  
Maybe Gerard was broken, but sometimes the damage isn't permenant, and sometimes if someone puts in the time and effort they can put all the peices back together. They can make him feel whole again.

++++++

They spent the film half concentrating on the actual film and the other half concentrating on each other. Gerard would suck on his neck (he abolutly adored the sound it made the boy create) and kiss up his cheek until Frank let them connect their lips.  
By the end of it Frank was straddling Gerards waist with his tounge half down his throat and dazed in lusty commands.  
After a moment however, he pulled away rather abrutly. Gerard sat up on his elbows confused.  
"Whats wrong?" He asked, furrowing his brow as the boy shuffled completely out of his lap. He was staring down at his hands as he asked in an absolutly heart shattering voice, "are you just using me?"

Gerards eyes flew open, immediatly he prepared to bombard Frank with retaliation.  
"Frank-" he started but was cut off.

"Last I checked you couldn't stand me even looking at you. Now you just want in my pants," he said, on the verge of tears as he shuffled to the far end of the couch and brought up his legs in order to make himself smaller.

Gerard sighed, crawling over to the boy and placing a kiss to his head. "Baby boy I'd never just 'use you'. I was always... confused. I still am, in fact. I don't understand any of this but my heart urges me to not stop, to never stop. This winding passion I feel for you controls me. And this isn't only your physical form but you're mind also. You are simply captivating Frank Iero. And I am much too weak to force down this extollment..."

Frank looked up at him through watery lenses. Amazed at the words the other boy could muster on the spot.  
Gerard sighed at his lack of response before leaning forwards and kissing Franks cheek.  
"Kitten answer me," he commanded softly, needing the boy to give some kind of indication that he understood Gerards infauation with him.  
Frank didn't answer, only leaned forth and pressed his lips to Gerards.  
Of course, Gerard kissed back, somehow missing the feeling of the boy so close even if they had been withdrawn from each other for a small moment. He lived for this, for Franks approval.

Thats all he wanted.


End file.
